"Yes .. this is my third marriage" -- Reply from Purnika

"Yes .. this is my third marriage" -- Reply from Purnika

Contents of the interview Purnika has provided to a weekend newspaper about the marriage between Purnika Peiris and Peshala Manoj is as follows:

* A new page dawned on your life. With this new beginning how do you spend your life? 

  I and Peshala got married. During the last two or three years I was living freely. There was nobody
to say .. "don't do this ... do this ... don't go there ...". I had only my father and mother. Even now I live like that. That is the difference I see. For some .. after marriage life becomes complex. But I don't any complexity in my life as such. 

* Wasn't the marriage commemorated without much of a noise as such, isn't it?

  It was after planning within say for about five or six days that the engagement was done. We did a concert last December. Because of the busy schedule involved in at that time .. we actually were not decided that we were going to have a wedding in the month of January. But Peshala's mother went round astrologers and said it is good if the wedding is taken in January. As such we engaged in January on the spur of the moment decision. We thus thought that marriage need not be postponed. Therefore, we invited about fifty in the family circle and after arrangements in say six or seven days and celebrated the occasion in a simple manner. 

* Did you get involved with Peshala because Peshala was someone whom you knew and worked with in the same channel?

  Peshala means someone who was a friend of mine earlier. Other announcers whether they are males or females is like one family ... united ... very friendly. Peshala also is in that category. I don't meet Peshala very much during work as such. I meet other announcers more than him. I came across Peshala those days when involved in avurudu programmes ... about once or twice an year. If it is during some activity somewhere .. we converse with each other. There was friendship between the two of us. 

Sometimes when we some problems come our way in life ... there are instances when the manner they think about us change in either the right or wrong direction. When problems began to emerge in my life; when some people looked at me in a negative way ... Peshala was someone who looked at me in a different manner. With that, I felt that there was some speciality in Peshala. 

* Was it because of that, that you chose Peshala as partner of your life?

  Initially I did not show a big response as such. That is because I have a son and because my problems are complex. When I started talking to Peshala as a friend for some time .. when he took an interest to look into my affairs, I realised that it is not the Peshala whom I used to see on television. Peshala is in fact a character who would look into my relations, his relations and almost everybody for that matter and if some issue cropped up ... he would come forward and extend a helping hand. In the same way he would not take things too much to heart. It is difficult for me to start a new life with someone who keeps thinking about everything ... because there is a place which went wrong in my life. 

* Didn't Peshala consider your past a problem as such?

  Peshala specially is a person who dismisses another's past. I also learned it from him. It is bad to delve into people's past. Even people like Angulimala has become good. People may be bad ... may turn good. There can be instances can go wrong in their life. As there were people who kept burrowing into the past ... there also I realised that Peshala was a different person. He had no problems about my life as such. When he came to hear things about my life here and there .. he may have thought that my life had gone wrong. Though those intimate to me understood that I had gone wrong .. nobody spoke about it to me. Later when I happened to take an independent decision, Peshala understood that those things happened not because of my mistake. Peshala may have thought that this decision was taken because of incompatibility or some other thing. 

For a long time Peshala was like a friend of mine. Friends whom I and Peshala associated always told me that Peshala has a soft corner for me. I said that I have no such thing in my heart ... because I can't think about those things. Son is with me .. I told that I have a different journey. But Peshala gradually even spoke to our mother and father. 

* That means ... those in your family were not against the decision you and Peshala took?

  No. My mother and father were affectionate to Peshala. My mother and father had not got any love from a party like that. Those in our family realised that Peshala respected and loved other elders just as much as he did to his parents. At the time I associated Peshala, he realised how he treated my mother and father and how I treat his mother and father. 

Peshala had been engaged before but had not got married. He had no children either. Peshala is a popular announcer these days and a skillful musician as such. Whatever my family background is, though I am someone who is married with one child, Peshala's mother and father understood me. What everyone in the family said was that it is Peshala is the one compatible to me. Therefore we managed to get the blessings of everybody in the family. 

* At one time some people made accusations saying that your earlier marriage went on the rocks because of the alliance with Peshala. Do you have any reply to that?

  I learned a lot of things during the last four years. I have included that to my new family life. Nobody should suspect anybody at length regarding anything. Otherwise a person may think even if somebody has not robbed .. that he has definitely robbed. So, that finally ends up at the point that it is the same whether a robbery has been done or not done. We sometimes don't keep company with all the friends as such. Though actors and actresses go for shooting, they don't get friendly with everyone. 

It is the fifteenth year that I am spending with Derana. It's the young crowd who is found in our channel. Everybody in the channel knows that I have so far not started an affair with anybody. what I believe is that a person develops an unnecessary suspicion over another regarding something or some matter because that very person is committing the same mistake. If for instance one does not commit that mistake ... if the person does not keep any clandestine connection with someone ... I need need suspect my husband if it happened to be my case. What I tell my friends also is not to suspect anybody. Because that longtime suspicion could trigger one to make a mistake. We should live in a place free of suspicion, doubt and freedom because however much love is there, even if children are there ... we have to live in the company of children who face pressure. If the mother in the house is happy, a family can get on well. Now there is no one there to suspect me as such. Wherever I go ... 'why did you go? Why do you associate that person? Why did so and so talk?' there's no person to ask such questions. I have that freedom to the maximum. That's what is wanted. As long as we live ... we need not be subjected to domination or suspicion. It was because of such a phenomenon that Peshala had to face about having a connection like that. But I think something good happened to me because of that. On certain occasions when mud was thrown at me .. I thought that it is Peshala whom I should wed. But since I had my son, I was not able to take a step forward. It was in 2016 that I scrapped off my marriage. During these four years everything happened as usual. 

* Do you feel that the decision you took this time is the correct decision? 

  Yes .. I think that the decision I took this time is correct. During the last two and a half years I realised as to what sort of a person Peshala is. 

* Do you think that compared to the Peshala you see from outside is different from a personal angle?

  Peshala is someone who is composed of responsibilities. Even for the small thing he is careful. I didn't think that he is a person with such responsibility. What I thought was that he is a person who is irresponsible and someone who keeps on talking. But he is very much different from inside. He has no nature of being responsible at the beginning and  later giving it up. His manner of responsibility and affection is still there even todate. He is a very simple person. It is easy for my life.

* Is your son also close to Peshala?

  Peshala is very affectionate to children, My son of course is someone who usually is affectionate to everyone. When Gayan aiya is at home, son is always behind him. When Peshala comes, he is behind Peshala. He loves those who show a fondness to my son. Sometimes he shows affection to Gayan aiya and Peshala than to me. Since I am frequently with him, when meeting others occasionally ... he shows great affection for them. Son sings. Those things have come to him from Peshala. In any case Peshala is someone who shows affection for children. Not only for my son ... even to children of my relations Peshala has that same affection. If he sees a small child begging on the streets ... he would call him and ask why he is there ... why he's not going to school ... where his mother is and whether he has had his afternoon meal. He even does not like a child begging on the streets. So I have no big fear about Aditya. I believe that son also will be happy in the future. 

* Greetings began to come streaming in for the wedding of both you and Peshla. Some people criticised you. Most people began to talk about the greetings and advice your husband in the first marriage gave you, isn't it?

  It was published from Sahan's facebook ... it was not by him. I think that it is the advice of the person Sahan is to marry. She and I haven't met each other and spoken to each other as such. Sahan still speaks to me. He has no misunderstanding with me. Even last month he came and saw how son was getting along. He used to take son away in the mornings and bring him back to me in the evening. Though that post was made from Sahan's facebook ... must think who did it. To me it does not matter who did so. I can't think of anyone there who is suitable enough to give me advice. 

It isbetter for a girl is to go for a permanent marriage. Someone who does not have such a background ... I don't approve of giving me advice. Those who gave advice to me ... they have to turn back and look at so many things they have to do to their lives. Criticisms were aimed at us .. not by those who maintained facebook accounts as such. It is those who maintain fake accounts who sling mud. Positive greetings were mostly from those who maintained genuine facebook accounts. Fake accounts sometimes may be maintained possibly by those whom we know fake accounts. I know that fake accounts are maintained by those in our field itself. Nobody likes another's life becoming successful. Those are people who carry unsuccessfulness in their lives. It was from colleagues and those distinguished in the field of arts that we had greetings. 

Some who set up pages do certain things to earn money. Peshala says that they sling mud at us to fill their stomachs. Those days I didn't agree with that. Now I agree with that. I spent the last four years with a great deal of patience. During that period I checked whether Peshala had that patience. Son went to pre-school years. It was after he went to school for two years that I took a decision about marriage. I waited that period of time because I was aware that the man who stays would stay for any time and that the man who wants to go .. will go. I waited, if Peshala stays .. he will stay and if he goes, he will go. I think that   time gave me a good decision. I don't get disturbed by criticisms that came my way. It is better if advice is given to me after putting their lives in order. 

* There were criticisms that you are a person who had three marriages?

  Certain things were said saying that I entered into this marriage and that marriage. Before Sahan .. I had entered into a separate marriage engagement. I had no time to take it as far as marriage ... because of the involvement with Sanath. Those days I used to take short-term decisions in two or three months. I later realised that those were not suitable decisions. 

I know about my marriages ... Peshala knows. There is a marriage where I really went through married life. That is why I have Aditya putha. Beyond that I do not know as to on what basis people say I had this number or that number of marriages. I of course don't take those things to heart that much. If the person who lives with me takes no regard of those things .. I think that I need not take those things to heart. I can tell the number if one turns back and looks at lives of those who have illicit connections and are living together even without a marriage certificate but publish posts and tell others that they are good. But I will not clash with anybody that way. I have no time for that. I was successful in life. Sent son to a good school and set a good educational background for him. I think that actions that I have taken are correct. 

* Doesn't Peshala implement taboos or control on Purnika's activities?

  No. What Peshala has told me is, if a drama comes my way .. to go and act. If I go to engage in acting ... time devoted to son would be less. Now this is the time I should be with him. Though son is seven years old; he is still childish so to say. I thought that I would engage only in announcing. I got involved in some particular dramas done by the channel. I will not go for creations of a lengthy nature. I was invited for films also. But I did not get involved in those because of son. In future also I will not get involved with those. Peshala is a very busy person. If I also become some more busy ... It will be difficult to balance family life. There has been no taboos from Peshala. 

- Thilini Kaushalya Wijeysingha -