Nalin returns to his family

Nalin of Marians unites again with wife and 2 children  "If by chance there is a child .... don't take decision to separate"

We constantly have had to report about popular individuals being separated from their marriage bonds. What was reported about Marians Music Group too was something similar sometime back. However,having understood his past experiences in their correct perspective he has decided to rejoin his wife and children. In this connection he makes a significant comment:

                      "We make some statement .... and because of fear of social accusation we keep on maintaining it. But what is most valuable is the rationality behind it more than the former. During the period of three and a half ears I was away from home, I too learned much about life's experiences quite well. By that time I had another alliance. There also.... there were several disagreements. Therefore I rejected her also. I lived alone with my mother and father.

It was a man who lived with a mentality of not going on life's journey anymore with the wife who has now rejoined happily because of that thing called male domination .... the rut that males cannot face, which cannot be told and finished. It was the 2 children who were the peacemakers of our unification. If at all by any chance there happens to be a child .... don't think of separating".

He explained everything in-toto to Mawbima weekend newspaper in the following manner: "We aren't great big monied-people as such. In the beginning stage of life I didn't have houses, properties, vehicles. Everything I built up with sheer effort. During m schooldays I too was in a good position. I was the chief prefect in school. But what I had in my head was was only music. I failed in all 4 subjects. After that I had only one objective. It was Nilmini's father who helped me to achieve that target.

My eyes rocketed towards a certain eye-catching dame who came to a birthday party. Nilmini's family and our family was close to each other. Nilmini also came for my birthday party in 1988. At that time Nilmini's age was 15 years .... small girl like a wooden plank. Aney .... looked so innocent. But I didn't ask the girl. First of all I told our mother .... because other was the stumbling block for both the previous entanglements. After that I told Nilmini's mother. She said, 'what .... you'll are still small children no ....'. I then felt as if there was something like an okay there. After that it was the most difficult hurdle. Somehow or other had to get the girl's consent. There was no positive action to be seen at all. When nothing was coming right I memorised Biblical quotations and tried to get closer on the pretense of teaching religion. But still nothing seemed to work. Even if I sit next to her in the bus .... she would turn her head the other way .... again she'd bring her head into a straight position only when about to get down from the bus. I also looked at the watch and said, 'this girl .... aney .... what nonsense is this?'so saying I got up and went. But I didn't give up my try. Somehow or other I managed to get the consent. We got married in 1994. Apo .... this one was just a plain board of wood .... thin as ever. I also was like that. Like now I had grown my hair .... but cut in front. Maa ..aara charter, maa....aara ugly. Nilmini's mother and father like music very much. Because of that they liked me also. In the end we courted for a period of 8 years and then got married. Those days I began to write letters to her starting with, 'loving Nimmi,' putting all possible tactics in the rush. It was Nilmini's father who took the gold jewellery with both arms and placed it on my hands asking me to sell them and by a sound set-up. That time I used my Tikiri brain and without selling them, instead pawned them. Later the pawned articles too were redeemed by him. 

Nilmini loved me at a time when even the next-door neighbour didn't know me. 1988 was my beginning too. Nilmini is with me since that beginning. that is where her value lies.

Nilmini was with my upward journey as well as in my downfall. I was 25 when I got married. Nilmini was 20. Nilmini became pregnant in the very first month we got married and at our first anniversary our daughter Svetha was born.What both of us wanted was a daughter. Thinking that akka's support will be given to a malli .... it took some time to bring the second child. What support from akka to malli! Like snakes and vipers! Later on I became popular gradually. There were shows for me right round the country. For those shows .... our whole family used to go.

As a father I was so loving towards my children. Bathing daughter and feeding her .... all done by me. It was I myself who shaved the head. But whatever thing was done .... I gave pride of place to my job. Breaking rest was no problem for me. I had no consideration where time was concerned. Because of that I couldn't play the role of husband in a big way. She also didn't expect anything like that as such. What she did was give me her support. As time passed by .... conflicts began to surface between the two of us.

I am happy that I left home when problems cropped up. That became a pacifying solution to the health of all of us. My children may have faced negative influences because of that .... I won't say no to that. They came into this world not because they wanted .... but because we wanted. Though talking big .... we aren't big shots. We're in zero. We make some statement and for fear of social accusation keep maintaining that statement. But our rationality is more valuable than that. During the time I was away from home I learned life's experiences well. Even by that time I had another connection. There also .... there were several disagreements. Because of that I rejected that connection also and lived with my mother and father. It was a man who lived with a mentality of not going on life's journey anymore with the wife that has now rejoined happily. This thing called male domination is utterly false. The rut that males face cannot be spoken of and finished. I like to live as a child in Nilmini's life .... I like Nilmini also living as a child in my life. There were Nilmini's decisions behind my success. It was after having seen this picture and was painting it that I was able to relate this story.

I never had an idea that I would once again go into this life with Nilmini. The mediation of the 2 children influenced it in a miraculous way. After that, Nilmini made a request: 'You come home .... live the way you want .... come on behalf of the 2 children'. I was spending the time with the thought that no women in this life anymore! In he end I sent my home articles and goods thinking that even if I go .... I'll live separately.

Now then Nilmini calls once again and says, 'you, mother and father come tomorrow at 6 o'clock'. I got that kiss after 10 years. The next day we arrived. She had invited the Father also .... but the door of the house was closed. I went and rang the bell. When the door was opened Nilmini gave me a warm kiss .... smiling and with a bouquet of beautiful flowers in her hand. That welcome ....it really touched my heart. Milk rice had been prepared. I fed her with the milk rice .... she too feeds me milk rice. It was such a charming day. But I still didn't know what my room was. So I began to think alone .... that one is daughter's .... the other one is son's, Nilmini's and mother's. While imagining like this Nilmini escorted me and showed saying, 'that s our room'. Everything began to appear as if I got a treasure.

Even by chance .... don't decide to separate if there's a child. This day when I went home I saw how the 2 children enjoyed that happiness .... the thought  what kind of a sin did we both going to do .... came into my head. When there is a child in the family .... whatever problems parents have .... they must not separate. Today if there happens to face a problem .... what I tell my wife is, 'let us talk about it tomorrow'. Problems are being postponed. 'If you two are going for something like a fight .... tell me .... I'll look after it,' daughter is now telling both of us. So it's so pleasant. The remote to control the two of us is in daughter's hand. Really .... there's nothing for us to shout like that.

Now after being separated for such a long period of time we're now in one room .... the first night in in one and the same bed. I on one side of the bed and Nilmini sleeping on the other side. The events of that day was so wonderful. I thought that the night too would be equally wonderful as well. 'Aney .... here's our boy .... thaththi ....' so saying he umped into our midst. That day we both hugged hugged our boy and went to sleep. After that, we again went to church and we renewed our marriage promise. We even exchanged new wedding rings. This is a previous merit of mine. Today I am spending my time with my wife, children exceedingly happy. Today I am more happy than on the day of my wedding.

That river flowed onward with its slow pace. We stopped at the bank. Yes .... there'll be obstacles. In some place it'll stop ....but the river will flow on. That river is so charming.

Note of discussion -- Wasana Surangika Withanage
Photos -- Nuwan Amarawansha